whacked weekend...

i've been having way too much fun...(if that's even possible)...the weekend's just flown by without me realizing it...n i haven't been getting enough sleep...it's been one whole block of partying...so here's a recap...


friday night kicked off with the cambridge dancers' club's summer ball...it was a glitzy affair with a live band n lots of dancing...most of the dancesport team was there all dressed up for the event...it was fun to dance with each other...but also sad because it would b the last for the few who will b graduating this summer...


i had my first glass of pimm's there n i fell in love with it immediately...to b honest...wine is pretty minging...but i love cocktails...n pimm's is *the* summer cocktail...it's lovely...everyone was given a complimentary glass of pimm's...i had eight...


after the ball ended at 1 in the morning...we headed down to anh's for the after-ball party...we had pizzas n crisps with another round of cocktails to go with...it was a nice toned-down affair after the ball where we all had a nice chat together...


after heading back for a quick sleep in the wee hours of the morning...saturday ushered the pudding picnic with the team again...it was a very enjoyable outing...we had lots n lots of pudding (fruit salad, ice crean, profiteroles, strawberries n cream, trifles etc etc)...n together with my cd player n anh's collection of dance cds...we rocked the entire botanical gardens where we had the picnic...i brought along twister n we had some wild games at that...rob brought his frisbee n we had some rough games at that too...


after the pudding picnic...it was back to college for a quick dinner n change before heading up to st. edmund's for a bop...it was a mix of r&b n cheese n although i'm not a fan of r&b, the cheese more than mad up for it...clare n i were really wild that night...despite the fact that i was a tee-totaler that night...(partly because the bar had nothing but minging beer n some rather poor excuse of a cocktail)...


we had little 5 minute breaks in the garden outside...where we rehydrated with water while waiting for the dj to spin us some cheese...upon which clare n i would jump up n start screaming while we made our way back to the dancefloor...it was a good night...


after heading back to college...again in the wee hours of the morning...sunday lazed by with a nice break at king's where they had n open-air fair (with bouncy castles!)...we passed the day away by lazing on the green green grass...with bits of dancing here n there...it was a good change...to b able to relax for once...


n today's monday...n i just got back from a picnic with some ocep members who i'll b teaching english with in hong kong for 6 weeks this summer...we went for a punt after that...which ended with me punting them all the way n back...not that i'm complaining but i'm really knackered now...


i need to get some shut eye...before i burn the midnight oil tonight in order to finish my lesson plans n handouts for hong kong...oh dear...n tomorrow's christ's ball which is going to last from 9 pm to 9 am wednesday...it's going to b a killer week...


(pictures of summer ball to follow once the photographer's uploaded the pics online)...now it's time for me to take a nap...finish up 12 lesson plans n handouts by tonight...n oh dear...i've got xs latin formation dance practice tonight...so till then...laterz...

passed

i passed physiology and st. cat's held an outdoor concert in my honour. now to prepare for the summer ball tonight.

till then

funnily enough...that wasn't the end of the day...yet...

it was the fellows' garden next...for some strawberries n cream with my tutor...(which was very kind of him i must say)...with a nice round of champagne...

n then off for dance...did i mention that i've finally decided to join the internationally renowned xs latin formation dance team?...it's the number team in the whole of england...

it was my first lesson of the fortnight trial period...which went quite well actually...considering how long i haven't danced...so i shall b looking forward to it...

ahhh...life can't get any better at the moment...although i probably should slow down a bit before it all consumes me...n i don't rest enough to even enjoy it...

till then...
gnite

punting, picnic, bridge hopping

anyway...having woken up late this morning...i settled a few stuffs before heading out with a few friends for a punting outing and pudding picnic i had organized...


weather wasn't great although we couldn't complain much because it wasn't raining...could've done with a tad bit of sun though...


punting is always great...there's just something about being on the river n surrounded by water n nature...the soft caress of the wind n the gentle rocking of the punt...it was good...


having punt all the way from queens'...we moored the punt at jesus green n set up our picnic spot...which went very well...full of laughs...n sweet dessert...(not to mention the bottle of vodka i had with me)...good stuff...


on the way back...i think the vodka got to me (although to b fair...i had it quite diluted with lemonade)...so i attempted the famous cambridge tradition of bridge hopping...i m proud to say that i conquered trinity bridge...one of the easiest bridges to hop over...s shown by the last few photos...

team dinner

the dancesport team dinner was held on the very same day my exams were finished...the black tie affair was held at the combination room of wolfson college...despite the weather being rather wet...it was a very nice evening indeed...


the men were looking very suave in their suits (spent 150 quid on mine complete with braces n cufflinks) n the women absolutely stunning in their evening gowns...it was n elegant event with a proper three-course dinner, no less than six eating utensils, n endless supply of wine n port...ending with coffee...terribly pretentious...


conversations were entertaining to say the least...with lots of jokes being cracked n peals of laughter bursting along the entire length of the table...of course we also had the usual speeches n toasts...(s well s the inescapable cambridge tradition of penny-ing)...by the end of it i was pleasantly tipsy...


but of course...no such event would end without the usual trip to the bar...where ties were untied n hair let down...suffice to say that everyone was feeling very comfortable with the effects of alcohol...the usual jokes, lapdances n dirty games ensued...but pictures will tell a better story...


all in all...it was a glorious finish to a very long run indeed...

can't wait

ahhh...exams r unofficially over for me already...i've sat for all the essay papers...n i now have three whole days of doing nothing...until anatomy steeplechase on monday n histology practical on tuesday...it feels like may week already...so good i could just lie in the sun all day in the fellow's garden...

papers were quite alright...but i think that's just because i've been expecting the worst...the second mb papers were fine albeit slightly on the dodgy side...but i should b able to pass them (fingers crossed)...

however, i got raped badly by my anatomy essay paper...although i made up for it in my biochemistry n physiology essay papers...there's no way i'll b getting a first class honours this year...but i'm way past caring...all i want is to pass...

it's funny how i've changed from a person who was only satisfied with excellence to a person who's content with mediocrity...i just think there r more important things than working your arse off n end up with a degree just like anyone else without making the most of my time here...

anyways...just got back from a punting trip...all the way from darwin island to the bridge of sighs...went with a few good friends of mine on the dancesport team...shoko, anh n dan...it's always great fun with them around...


then it was off to the classy b bar...where anh n i met up with other team mates, mildred, danielle n dmitry...mildred was already slightly tipsy when we arrived...which didn't get any better of course...but it all added to the fun...alcohol is always good company...lol


ahhh...i can't wait till exams r officially over...team dinner n parties (i m so going to get drunk at team dinner...even before after-team-dinner party)...garden parties n may ball...punting outings...picnics n bbq...clubbing n drinking...birthday parties...

n then it's off to hong kong for six weeks to teach english to lil kiddies...n then another eight weeks travelling around southeast asia...it'll b so good that it'll just feel like one major orgasm...ahhh...can't wait...

expectations n disappointments...

a big part of my life has been driven by my fear of disappointing those around me...which is good in a comforting way...but also bad in a frightening way...

take a look at my academic achievements...ever since secondary school...right up till now...i've been working hard solely on the fear of disappointing my mother...i know she doesn't say it out loud...but she's simply hopeless in hiding her high expectations of me...

n the fact that my mims (biochemistry) n fab (anatomy) supervisor also has high expectations of me doesn't really help much...which explains y i felt really bad today after barely passing my mock...

it's the same for dancesport...the main reason y i'm practising three hours everyday is because i don't want to disappoint shoko...who i think is a brilliant dancer...i always feel s if she would do so much better had she not been paired with me...

i still remember how bad i felt when i screwed up our waltz n quickstep routine during varsity trials...the thought of shoko not making the team because of me was completely unbearable when the coach called out the names of those who made it into team...

ah yes...that's another person i'm afraid to disappoint...our latin coach david...he's had high expectations of me ever since i started dancing in his class when i first got in cambridge...lol...it was the first thing i ever did here i think...n he's concentrated quite a bit on me ever since...

looking back on my life...piano...swimming...so much of it was determined by what other people expected of me...my piano teacher...swimming coach...which is fine for the time being...coz i've got nothing to lose n everything to gain...s i constantly push myself towards excellence...

but what happens when there's no one left?...what happens when there r no expectations for me to fulfil?...will i stumble into a pit of complacency?...left only with the memory of past achievements to haunt me?...

england vs malaysia

so, after having spent almost a year here, i noticed that there r certain things which r better in england than in malaysia:

1. dairy products (from pure butter to sinful cheesecake...mmm...*drools)
2. cereals (i've gotten addicted to them!...there's n infinite variety here)

likewise, there r certain things which r better in malaysia than in england:

1. popcorn (m missing gsc's caramel popcorn...they don't have it here...shocking!)
2. advertisements (my god! u don't want to know how utterly ridiculous they r over here!)

of course, when you're comparing, u try to do so on the same criteria...so the fact that we normally have nasi lemak or roti canai for breakfast instead of cereals is completely irrelevant...nor the fact that we have kaya instead of butter...

the main point is, certain things which can b found in both countries differ from each other...one being better than the other...

obviously, this is but the tip of the iceberg...there r many things which differ between the two countries n i could go on n on forever...the above are just a few particular ones that i m persnickety about...

sigh...after having travelled this far...u realize that it's all the same...the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence...not even when it's halfway around the globe...

punting...

that aside...i managed to punt from st. john's bridge of sighs (top) to queens' mathematical bridge (below) in 15 minutes...n it's only my second attempt yet!...(i did it in one hour on my first attempt)...now i can apply for a part time job s a punter this summer...woo hoo!...sun...river...babes n hunks!...lol...it's going to b a brilliant summer this year!!!

night out at soul tree

i've been to soul tree a couple of times before...n i've never really enjoyed myself to the fullest...but i had a real blast there tonight...it wasn't perfect because i had mixed feelings towards it...but it was a blast nonetheless because the pros outweighed the cons...

for one...i'll never b able to appreciate hip hop music...(which is what soul tree specializes in)...i mean...yes, u can dance to it...but it's always the same thing isn't it?...mindless repetitions of "shake that booty" n so on...there's no way it'll ever top cheese music...ever!

but the dancesport team was there...well, a part of it was...including alex, will, anh n claire...which made up for the really bad music (in my opinion)...especially alex...i mean...there's no doubt now that he's the only guy i can go out clubbing with N have a smashing time...

but claire...my god...if she's really good at ballroom dancing...she's f*cking amazing at hip hop...i mean...she was a complete nutter on the dance floor...who'd have thought she had moves like those?...shagging a wall never looked this good before (private joke)...

besides that...i was completely sober...alcohol had become n essential part of my clubbing nights...n i've always promised myself never to let it dictate how much fun i have...so not a single drop of alcohol passed my lips tonight...n yet...i had fun...m rather proud of that...

but to top that feeling...two guys came up to me n complimented me on my good moves!...the second guy even gave me a high-five!!...(n soul tree's a straight club!!!)...i mean...any more of that n my head would've popped from the excessive ego building up inside of me...lol

but there's no free lunch in this world...n my abs, back n feet r killing me...but oh well...it was still a good night...coz i ended up kissing three girls...s well s by alex...hee...i'm such a cheeky 'lil boy...lol...so all in all...it was a good night...

m looking forward to tuesday night at life with alex...woo!

god save the queen!

the college flag was flown at full mast today above the great gate of christ's college...which is a pretty unusual thing...considering the fact that the flag is never raised on ordinary days...

even the union jack was flown above the town hall n king's college...(i wonder what happened to their flag?)...the cambridge flag was also flown above st mary's church...

so i went to the plodge to have a chat with the porters...n enquire on this oddity...turns out...today's the queen's official 80th birthday...god save the queen!

the river chronicles (part 2 of 5)

the river chronicles (part 1)

gracefully...she dances along the green grassy banks of the river...with elegant steps she whirls the vienesse waltz...her long tresses of ebony hair cascade down her shoulders...to flow behind her in time with the imaginary music playing in her mind...

s she weaves in n out of her own shadow...her emerald eyes glitter intermittently in the benevolent sunlight...the same colour s the sparkling salzach river...which reflects the lofty festung hohensalzburg...

proud n tall it stands on the highest peak of the monchsberg...protecting the city of salzburg beneath it...n its inhabitants...s it stands out defiantly against the blue sky...

the river chronicles (part 1 of 5)

...the marienplatz...this is not only where the heart of the city beats...but also where the world-famous carillon can b heard...at noon the figures move around in the tower of the rathaus...whose neo-gothic facase is one of photographers' favourite subjects in the town centre...

that was what the guidebook wrote...she glances instinctively at her watch...ten to noon...that was what the silver hands of her watch pointed at...ten to noon...n she was still three stations away from the marienplatz...

impatiently...she flicks a lock of her red hair back...uncovering her deep black eyes which dart from one passenger to another on the s-bahn...studying their physical traits n attributing different histories they might have gone through...resulting in their present-day appearances...

restlessly...she glances at her watch again...five to noon...n still two stations away...with her inner strength she urges the train faster...hoping that her faithful watch was fast...it was imperative that she didn't miss the spectacle...considering the fact that she was on a one day trip to the capital of bavaria...

she arrives at the marienplatz station at three past noon...she hoists her heavy backpack n gets up from her seat even before the train had come to a stop...once the doors had open sufficiently enough to let her through...she dashes on to the station amidst the throng of commuters n forces her way through...running up the stairs out of the subway...the bells were already tolling s she hoped against all hope that she wasn't too late...

she emerges out into the dazzling sun...n stops dead in her tracks...blinded for a moment after spending such a long time in the relatively dark underground...n yet the bells carried on ringing loudly in the background...s if to rebuke her for being late...

s her eyes became accustomed to the bright light...she discovers a sea of people gathered right in front of her...she follows their upward gaze n her eyes alight on a large clock face built into the tower of n impressive monument...

n s if it had been waiting for her...the bells strike their last note...n the carillon starts up a melody...to which the figures below it dance to...oblivious to the cheering crowd beneath them...s the sun smiles down upon the children of the world who had gathered at the plaza...in the city of munich along the isar river...

currently pleased with myself again

i'd better blog this before i forget...so the other day...yesterday actually...i volunteered at another access programme...this time for emmanuel's college...but this time...i get paid!...15 quid for roughly three hours!...plus free lunch!...woo hoo!!!

but knowing me...i wasn't in it for the money...i just like doing stuff like this...i really have no idea y though...i mean...i've given it some thought before...n it could simply b because i'm helping others...or because i like being out of doors...or even because i like being surrounded by children...but i'm side-tracking...

i was quite pleased when i was told that i would b chaperoning a group of 15 year olds...that meant i needn't bother with university applications, interviews n all the other stuffy topics i had to help out with when dealing with potential applicants...this time...it was simply university life in general...informal n fun.

n the thing about 15 year olds is that they're matured enough to think for themselves...which meant that i didn't have to look out for each n every one of them...n yet, they're not matured enough...which meant they still have their childish side...n i have to say...i certainly had tonnes of fun with the whole lot of them!

for once...in such a long time...i was myself!...the childish, mischievous n playful kid that i m...n it felt so good...just to let go of all my inhibitions...to break free from the shackles which had restrained me for far too long...n simply b free...it was the sweetest feeling...to b free.

we had completely pointless banter between us throughout the entire tour...we made fun of each other whenever we had the chance...we skipped all the way from christ's to king's parade...we leap-frogged over every single obstacle we came across...n we gave each other piggy-back rides...it was a good change for me...from a complete stiff to a carefree kid...

n all this i have to give thanks to james n sam...mischievous little imps...one was bad enough...but they just had to b twins...lol...they were the pride of the school...bright students who were also runners...n they were the coolest of their peers...extroverted n confident they were...talking n laughing loudly...cracking all the jokes...n getting me to do all those silly things...

i was already contented with the day's happenings by lunch time...but at the very end of it...they came up to me...n asked me for a picture n my autograph...flattering though it may b...i was much more touched when they each gave me a hug n thanked me for being such n inspiration to them...they vowed to work really hard in order to achieve greater heights n hopefully b able to study here at cambridge...n i remember being completely speechless at that very moment...

i'm glad they left with so much more than what they had came here with...so much more than a picture s well...(i didn't give them my autograph because i felt it would b too overbearing of me to do so)...i'm glad that it might b a turning point in their lives...(they promised me 50% of their income when they become millionaires in six years time...n james promised to find the cure for cancer)

but what do i get out of it all...well...the picture of course...a reminder of who i truly m...n of what i truly like...s well s satisfaction...that i've actually made n impact on the lives of other people...oh n not forgetting 15 pounds!...yay!

primitive courting ritual?

i remember having a discussion with alex n nick on the way to dot's last saturday night...details of the conversation r somewhat blurred...due to the influence of alcohol on my memory...however...considering the fact that alex was there...it was undoubtedly about dance...

i do remember starting it though...i said that...in my opinion...dancing was a remnant of our primitive courting behaviours...it was followed by a lot of bollocks...on behalf of alex n the bottle of beer he had in his hand (he was drunk by the time we got to dot's)...n we got a lot about alpha males...n hitting on the male judges...n what not...but it did shorten our long walk to dot's...

but now that i'm sober...(or so i hope)...i would like to elaborate on my statement...let's take clubbing for example...even before leaving for the club...we dress ourselves up in the best of our clothes in order to show off our assets...we make ourselves up n do up our hair in the attempt to look absolutely attractive on the dancefloor...rather similar to birds such s the peacock who display their colourful plummages isn't it?...

once we're on the dancefloor...we begin a complex dance to pull the hot stud from all the way across the floor...the dance involves creating sensual shapes with our bodies to attract attention...it involves complicated steps which subtly lead us to the target...n if everything goes according to plan...it all ends with two convoluted bodies gyrating against each other n sinuous hands feeling each other all around in the heat of lust...all very akin to certain birds that perform extravagant dances to attract n court their mate i have to say...

hmm...looks like evolution may have some truth in it after all...lol

m way too drunk...

another brilliant night out!...so before i turn in...n wake up hours later with a complete hangover...i shall pen down a few words in order to retain whatever memories i have left later on...

1. alex tried to pull this hot russian guy...who apparently didn't look too good up close...bad skin n crooked teeth...but due to his drunken stupor...he was willing to overlook it...so with my help...he tried to snag him...which was a rather hilarious attempt...i had to push alex towards the guy coz he was so reluctant to go talk to him...n while when we were on the dancefloor...i had to lead alex right up to the guy n give him a small shove in that direction so he could show his moves off to him...the fact that it ended in failure made it even more amusing...oh well...he wasn't that good a dancer anyway...

2. after mr russian guy...alex asked me if there was anyone there i'd pull...n me being completely drunk...pointed to this cute guy who was dressed rather smartly...n alex commented on the fact that he looked like a nine year old kid...(so what if i like the boyish type?)...anyways...alex cajoled me to speak to him...n when i was reluctant to do so...he dragged me all the way to him...n started introducing the both of us to sam (or so he is named)...sadly though...he was straight...which gave us quite a good laugh...coz i've always joked that the guys i fall for r either straight or unavailable...sam was rather open about it though...n i actually thought he was rather nice...(not to mention matured for his looks...lol)

3. on our way to the club...i had a discussion with alex about the lack of a fixed dance for gay men...i mean...u c female couples competing in the beginner's modern n latin ballroom competitions...but no male couples...n it was rather sad that society has placed such a negative outlook on males dancing together...with that in mind...n the fact that we spent four hours on the dancefloor...alex n i came up with the gyro...a non-discriminatory dance for all sexual orientations...we've already fixed the basic gyro steps...including the forward/backward gyro, the side gyro n the gyro rolls...lol...we also came up with the bend over, double bend over n shadow bend over...s well s the homage...all very entertaining...lol

4. finally...must immortalize the drunken state i'm in...or was in...a full pint of beer...a double vodka with red bull...a tequila shot...n a bottle of smirnoff ice...that's the most i've ever had so far...not to mention the fact that i was having a drinking competition with alex...so we practically downed all our drinks...(although i have to say that i wasn't very far behind...n my tolerance has gone up considerably)...but i couldn't keep my balance...n the only way i could do so was to keep on dancing n moving so s not to lose balance...urgh...also felt a few urges to let up for the first hour or so on the dancefloor...but it's alright now after a few glasses of water...courtesy of alex...now i'm actually rather sober (although i hope it's not the alcohol speaking right now)...but lots of water should make me feel alright later on...hope i don't get a hangover...although it'd give me a reason not to work... :P

overall...it was another great night out...following the one at dot's...but alex is really fun to club with...he's not only a great dancer (which justifies the fact that he's beginner's dancesport team captain)...but he's also a great sport!...n the fact that we're good friends (s well s him being my captain) makes it impossible for the both of us to fall for each other...so it's fun n dance all the way...woo hoo!

reminder to self: dancing three step turns n spirals all the way to life while being drunk n completely off balance is NOT a good idea...trust alex to come up with something like that...

inferiority complex?

so...barely two days ago...friday...i volunteered at n access programme...for potential university applicants...which involved the usual...answer questions...give advices...organize tours...rather fulfilling i found it to b...

that evening itself...i asked a friend over dinner...y he did not volunteer...being the confident person i know...n he answered nonchalantly..."inferiority complex"...to which i replied..."bollocks!"...aren't we just as good or even better than they r?...

so...barely a few hours ago...alex called me out to a big monthly clubbing scene...one word: fantastic!...alcohol was just right...music was perfect...but dance was at its peak...it was n unforgettable night out...

one regret though...in the midst of my moves...i caught the eye of n adonis!...s if chiselled right out of a greek vase...complete with blue eyes...n yet...i let the moment between us pass...alex noticed me checking him out constantly n told me to make my move...to which i replied nonchalantly..."nah"...

so he went up to him...n struck up a conversation with ease...leaving me in my dance with Envy...n it wasn't until the wee hours of the morning...when it was all over...did alex reveal the conversation he had with Joe (or so he was called):

i told him you thought he was hot!...n he said..."well...he's an amazing dancer!"...so i told him that u were too shy to meet him...n he said..."well...he's got to work on his self-esteem"...

inferiority complex?

Kreuzige, kreuzige!

the elaborately ornamented beams of the ceiling loomed far above...s the orchestra began to accompany the choir...the interweaving melodies of bach's st john passion cascade along the wooden panels..."Kreuzige, kreuzige!"...the stained great windows shake...while the stars above shiver...

fuck all of u malaysians!!!

dear emilyn...

while i'm at it...i wanna bitch about another malaysian trait that always gets on my nerves...it always happens at ktm stations, lrt stations n monorail stations...

imagine u're in a ktm or lrt or monorail...n u're about to reach your destination...but when the carriage pulls up at the station...u try n try your best...but u suddenly realize u can't get out...n y?...coz every fucking malaysian on the platform rushes to the doors...n forces their way into the carriage...ignoring those who try their best to get out...

i mean...what the fuck's their problem?...scared of being squished by the doors?...well it doesn't hurt...i can guarantee u that...i've been a victim of carnivorous doors far too many times...the result of trying to get out of the carriage when every fucking person on the platform's trying to get in...n i can vouch that it doesn't hurt a single bit...

but what's the problem actually?...i mean...if u're talking about the putra lrt...then maybe i can excuse u...coz it's driverless...but what the fuck's the problem when it's star lrt, monorail n ktm?...i mean...there r drivers driving the fucking thing...n it wouldn't make sense if they closed the doors when there r still passengers on the platform now would they?...dumb ass!...n even if it's the putra lrt...there's no excuse actually...coz i've tried n tested the timing of doors opening n closing...n i've always managed to get in just when the doors r about to close...

n don't use the fucking lame excuse of needing a place to sit...coz unless u're disabled, pregnant, elderly or having young kids with u...there's no need for u to sit...n if u're included in the category above...i'm quite sure there r thoughtful malaysians who r willing to offer up their seats for u...(but right now...i'm doubting that...but let's just assume for now ok?)...so stop being a loser n stand for a bit...

seriously...u guys make me feel ashamed of being a malaysian...try lar...just try for once to b good malaysians...live up to my expectations...they're not that high...i'm not asking u to give away all your possessions to the homeless...i'm just asking u to fucking b patient n let those inside the carriage come out first...is that really so hard to do?...

fuck u all!
k

i m british s voted by malaysians

dear emilyn...

feeling damn fucked up right now...bout two hours ago...daniel was crowned our second malaysian idol...shocked at first...but now...terribly disappointed n utterly disgusted with the attitude n mentality of malaysians...

i've said it many times already...malaysian idol is a singing competition...not a beauty pageant...i have to admit...daniel's cute...he's my type of guy with his typical chinese guy-next-door look...but he can't sing...n although nita doesn't look too good herself...she can sing...not s good s jacq nor dina...but certainly better than daniel...

i m seriously very disappointed to call myself a malaysian right now...i can't believe that people can still vote for the wrong reasons...once again...the shallow mentality of malaysians has been proven by the fact that they vote for someone based entirely on his/her physical appearance...

at least that i still can take...but i recently heard that daniel was voted because of his race!...i mean...how disgusting is that?!...fuck man!...that's the most childish lamest n stupidest thing to do...voting for someone coz of him being chinese...please lar...it doesn't fucking matter if the winner's a malay or a chinese or n indian...whoever it is...he/she has to b good enough for us malaysians to hold our head high when he/she is representing us at the international front of world idol...

that said...i'm now a british...i've renounced my malaysian citizenship...n m now a british...i'm too ashamed to call myself a malaysian...*sigh...but deep down in me...i'm damn patriotic...which is y i'm damn fucked up right now...although i'm utterly reviled by malaysians...i still can stand by them...i'll still support daniel when he represents us at world idol...i'll still hold my head high n tell everyone that he's the best...coz it's not his fault anywayz...(plus he is cute...somebody intro me to him!...kekeke)...

so that's that...
laterz
k