olympic flame

the swimming events for the olympics r over...it's the talk of the town...they're either talking about it or blogging about it...so here's my two cents worth of what i think...

watching swimmers participate in the olympics has brought back bitter sweet memories of the times when i myself was training as a competitive swimmer...there's so much that i miss about it...

i miss the tough training sessions that i had to go undergo every single day...i miss facing n challenging the obstacles in my path as i prepared for competitions...i miss exerting my body and mind to the limits...i miss pushing myself to see how far i could go or how long i could last...i miss the physical torment n the mental anguish that i experienced...i miss the cramps...the scoldings...the punishments...n i also miss the exhausting yet satisfactory feeling when i've my best and achieved my times...

i miss the pre-competition thrill n excitement...i miss the sleepless night just before the day of the competition...when i drown myself in my thoughts...when i think of my strokes and my entire training programme...when i tell myself how much i want to win, how hard i've trained n prepare myself mentally...

i miss competing in competitions itself...i miss the goosebumps that appear on my skin at the very thought of it...the way my heart beats erratically when i stretch myself just before a race...the way my blood pounds deafeningly through my ears as i take my place on the starting block...i miss the split-second pause when i take a deep breath just before the gun goes off...n the anxiety of the outcome of a 1500m race...

n when i swim...i miss the way it feels when the water flows smoothly over my body...the way i glide effortlessly through the water as if we were one...the water n i...

i miss the near-death-experience after touching the wall n finishing a race...i miss the stitches, the close-faints n the fatigue...the very desire of not doin anything...not moving...not breathing...not thinking...just giving up on life n dying at that exact spot...

but i also miss going up to the podium to receive my medal...n knowing that it was all worth it...the training...the hardwork...n the effort...

but most of all...i miss my swimmates...i miss spending time with them...whether it's when we complain together to the coach about how inhumane the programme is during training...or when we compete amongst ourselves in the spirit of good sportsmanship...shaking hands or hugging each other after a race...or when we just hang out at shopping complexes n chill after competitions...go for a movie...eat together...talk...laugh...fool around...

there's so just so much about competitive swimming that i can't even write all of it down here in my blog...the relay...the warm downs...the so much more...

i truly envy professional swimmers...for the very experiences that they go through...an entirely different...there was never any regrets in taking up competitive swimming...n i do sometimes regret giving it all up for the sake of my studies...but i guess...giving it up has made it all the more precious...i now treasure these memories with me...n i know that they'll never leave me...even after death taketh me...