team dinner

the dancesport team dinner was held on the very same day my exams were finished...the black tie affair was held at the combination room of wolfson college...despite the weather being rather wet...it was a very nice evening indeed...


the men were looking very suave in their suits (spent 150 quid on mine complete with braces n cufflinks) n the women absolutely stunning in their evening gowns...it was n elegant event with a proper three-course dinner, no less than six eating utensils, n endless supply of wine n port...ending with coffee...terribly pretentious...


conversations were entertaining to say the least...with lots of jokes being cracked n peals of laughter bursting along the entire length of the table...of course we also had the usual speeches n toasts...(s well s the inescapable cambridge tradition of penny-ing)...by the end of it i was pleasantly tipsy...


but of course...no such event would end without the usual trip to the bar...where ties were untied n hair let down...suffice to say that everyone was feeling very comfortable with the effects of alcohol...the usual jokes, lapdances n dirty games ensued...but pictures will tell a better story...


all in all...it was a glorious finish to a very long run indeed...

can't wait

ahhh...exams r unofficially over for me already...i've sat for all the essay papers...n i now have three whole days of doing nothing...until anatomy steeplechase on monday n histology practical on tuesday...it feels like may week already...so good i could just lie in the sun all day in the fellow's garden...

papers were quite alright...but i think that's just because i've been expecting the worst...the second mb papers were fine albeit slightly on the dodgy side...but i should b able to pass them (fingers crossed)...

however, i got raped badly by my anatomy essay paper...although i made up for it in my biochemistry n physiology essay papers...there's no way i'll b getting a first class honours this year...but i'm way past caring...all i want is to pass...

it's funny how i've changed from a person who was only satisfied with excellence to a person who's content with mediocrity...i just think there r more important things than working your arse off n end up with a degree just like anyone else without making the most of my time here...

anyways...just got back from a punting trip...all the way from darwin island to the bridge of sighs...went with a few good friends of mine on the dancesport team...shoko, anh n dan...it's always great fun with them around...


then it was off to the classy b bar...where anh n i met up with other team mates, mildred, danielle n dmitry...mildred was already slightly tipsy when we arrived...which didn't get any better of course...but it all added to the fun...alcohol is always good company...lol


ahhh...i can't wait till exams r officially over...team dinner n parties (i m so going to get drunk at team dinner...even before after-team-dinner party)...garden parties n may ball...punting outings...picnics n bbq...clubbing n drinking...birthday parties...

n then it's off to hong kong for six weeks to teach english to lil kiddies...n then another eight weeks travelling around southeast asia...it'll b so good that it'll just feel like one major orgasm...ahhh...can't wait...

expectations n disappointments...

a big part of my life has been driven by my fear of disappointing those around me...which is good in a comforting way...but also bad in a frightening way...

take a look at my academic achievements...ever since secondary school...right up till now...i've been working hard solely on the fear of disappointing my mother...i know she doesn't say it out loud...but she's simply hopeless in hiding her high expectations of me...

n the fact that my mims (biochemistry) n fab (anatomy) supervisor also has high expectations of me doesn't really help much...which explains y i felt really bad today after barely passing my mock...

it's the same for dancesport...the main reason y i'm practising three hours everyday is because i don't want to disappoint shoko...who i think is a brilliant dancer...i always feel s if she would do so much better had she not been paired with me...

i still remember how bad i felt when i screwed up our waltz n quickstep routine during varsity trials...the thought of shoko not making the team because of me was completely unbearable when the coach called out the names of those who made it into team...

ah yes...that's another person i'm afraid to disappoint...our latin coach david...he's had high expectations of me ever since i started dancing in his class when i first got in cambridge...lol...it was the first thing i ever did here i think...n he's concentrated quite a bit on me ever since...

looking back on my life...piano...swimming...so much of it was determined by what other people expected of me...my piano teacher...swimming coach...which is fine for the time being...coz i've got nothing to lose n everything to gain...s i constantly push myself towards excellence...

but what happens when there's no one left?...what happens when there r no expectations for me to fulfil?...will i stumble into a pit of complacency?...left only with the memory of past achievements to haunt me?...

england vs malaysia

so, after having spent almost a year here, i noticed that there r certain things which r better in england than in malaysia:

1. dairy products (from pure butter to sinful cheesecake...mmm...*drools)
2. cereals (i've gotten addicted to them!...there's n infinite variety here)

likewise, there r certain things which r better in malaysia than in england:

1. popcorn (m missing gsc's caramel popcorn...they don't have it here...shocking!)
2. advertisements (my god! u don't want to know how utterly ridiculous they r over here!)

of course, when you're comparing, u try to do so on the same criteria...so the fact that we normally have nasi lemak or roti canai for breakfast instead of cereals is completely irrelevant...nor the fact that we have kaya instead of butter...

the main point is, certain things which can b found in both countries differ from each other...one being better than the other...

obviously, this is but the tip of the iceberg...there r many things which differ between the two countries n i could go on n on forever...the above are just a few particular ones that i m persnickety about...

sigh...after having travelled this far...u realize that it's all the same...the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence...not even when it's halfway around the globe...

punting...

that aside...i managed to punt from st. john's bridge of sighs (top) to queens' mathematical bridge (below) in 15 minutes...n it's only my second attempt yet!...(i did it in one hour on my first attempt)...now i can apply for a part time job s a punter this summer...woo hoo!...sun...river...babes n hunks!...lol...it's going to b a brilliant summer this year!!!

night out at soul tree

i've been to soul tree a couple of times before...n i've never really enjoyed myself to the fullest...but i had a real blast there tonight...it wasn't perfect because i had mixed feelings towards it...but it was a blast nonetheless because the pros outweighed the cons...

for one...i'll never b able to appreciate hip hop music...(which is what soul tree specializes in)...i mean...yes, u can dance to it...but it's always the same thing isn't it?...mindless repetitions of "shake that booty" n so on...there's no way it'll ever top cheese music...ever!

but the dancesport team was there...well, a part of it was...including alex, will, anh n claire...which made up for the really bad music (in my opinion)...especially alex...i mean...there's no doubt now that he's the only guy i can go out clubbing with N have a smashing time...

but claire...my god...if she's really good at ballroom dancing...she's f*cking amazing at hip hop...i mean...she was a complete nutter on the dance floor...who'd have thought she had moves like those?...shagging a wall never looked this good before (private joke)...

besides that...i was completely sober...alcohol had become n essential part of my clubbing nights...n i've always promised myself never to let it dictate how much fun i have...so not a single drop of alcohol passed my lips tonight...n yet...i had fun...m rather proud of that...

but to top that feeling...two guys came up to me n complimented me on my good moves!...the second guy even gave me a high-five!!...(n soul tree's a straight club!!!)...i mean...any more of that n my head would've popped from the excessive ego building up inside of me...lol

but there's no free lunch in this world...n my abs, back n feet r killing me...but oh well...it was still a good night...coz i ended up kissing three girls...s well s by alex...hee...i'm such a cheeky 'lil boy...lol...so all in all...it was a good night...

m looking forward to tuesday night at life with alex...woo!

god save the queen!

the college flag was flown at full mast today above the great gate of christ's college...which is a pretty unusual thing...considering the fact that the flag is never raised on ordinary days...

even the union jack was flown above the town hall n king's college...(i wonder what happened to their flag?)...the cambridge flag was also flown above st mary's church...

so i went to the plodge to have a chat with the porters...n enquire on this oddity...turns out...today's the queen's official 80th birthday...god save the queen!

the river chronicles (part 2 of 5)

the river chronicles (part 1)

gracefully...she dances along the green grassy banks of the river...with elegant steps she whirls the vienesse waltz...her long tresses of ebony hair cascade down her shoulders...to flow behind her in time with the imaginary music playing in her mind...

s she weaves in n out of her own shadow...her emerald eyes glitter intermittently in the benevolent sunlight...the same colour s the sparkling salzach river...which reflects the lofty festung hohensalzburg...

proud n tall it stands on the highest peak of the monchsberg...protecting the city of salzburg beneath it...n its inhabitants...s it stands out defiantly against the blue sky...

the river chronicles (part 1 of 5)

...the marienplatz...this is not only where the heart of the city beats...but also where the world-famous carillon can b heard...at noon the figures move around in the tower of the rathaus...whose neo-gothic facase is one of photographers' favourite subjects in the town centre...

that was what the guidebook wrote...she glances instinctively at her watch...ten to noon...that was what the silver hands of her watch pointed at...ten to noon...n she was still three stations away from the marienplatz...

impatiently...she flicks a lock of her red hair back...uncovering her deep black eyes which dart from one passenger to another on the s-bahn...studying their physical traits n attributing different histories they might have gone through...resulting in their present-day appearances...

restlessly...she glances at her watch again...five to noon...n still two stations away...with her inner strength she urges the train faster...hoping that her faithful watch was fast...it was imperative that she didn't miss the spectacle...considering the fact that she was on a one day trip to the capital of bavaria...

she arrives at the marienplatz station at three past noon...she hoists her heavy backpack n gets up from her seat even before the train had come to a stop...once the doors had open sufficiently enough to let her through...she dashes on to the station amidst the throng of commuters n forces her way through...running up the stairs out of the subway...the bells were already tolling s she hoped against all hope that she wasn't too late...

she emerges out into the dazzling sun...n stops dead in her tracks...blinded for a moment after spending such a long time in the relatively dark underground...n yet the bells carried on ringing loudly in the background...s if to rebuke her for being late...

s her eyes became accustomed to the bright light...she discovers a sea of people gathered right in front of her...she follows their upward gaze n her eyes alight on a large clock face built into the tower of n impressive monument...

n s if it had been waiting for her...the bells strike their last note...n the carillon starts up a melody...to which the figures below it dance to...oblivious to the cheering crowd beneath them...s the sun smiles down upon the children of the world who had gathered at the plaza...in the city of munich along the isar river...

currently pleased with myself again

i'd better blog this before i forget...so the other day...yesterday actually...i volunteered at another access programme...this time for emmanuel's college...but this time...i get paid!...15 quid for roughly three hours!...plus free lunch!...woo hoo!!!

but knowing me...i wasn't in it for the money...i just like doing stuff like this...i really have no idea y though...i mean...i've given it some thought before...n it could simply b because i'm helping others...or because i like being out of doors...or even because i like being surrounded by children...but i'm side-tracking...

i was quite pleased when i was told that i would b chaperoning a group of 15 year olds...that meant i needn't bother with university applications, interviews n all the other stuffy topics i had to help out with when dealing with potential applicants...this time...it was simply university life in general...informal n fun.

n the thing about 15 year olds is that they're matured enough to think for themselves...which meant that i didn't have to look out for each n every one of them...n yet, they're not matured enough...which meant they still have their childish side...n i have to say...i certainly had tonnes of fun with the whole lot of them!

for once...in such a long time...i was myself!...the childish, mischievous n playful kid that i m...n it felt so good...just to let go of all my inhibitions...to break free from the shackles which had restrained me for far too long...n simply b free...it was the sweetest feeling...to b free.

we had completely pointless banter between us throughout the entire tour...we made fun of each other whenever we had the chance...we skipped all the way from christ's to king's parade...we leap-frogged over every single obstacle we came across...n we gave each other piggy-back rides...it was a good change for me...from a complete stiff to a carefree kid...

n all this i have to give thanks to james n sam...mischievous little imps...one was bad enough...but they just had to b twins...lol...they were the pride of the school...bright students who were also runners...n they were the coolest of their peers...extroverted n confident they were...talking n laughing loudly...cracking all the jokes...n getting me to do all those silly things...

i was already contented with the day's happenings by lunch time...but at the very end of it...they came up to me...n asked me for a picture n my autograph...flattering though it may b...i was much more touched when they each gave me a hug n thanked me for being such n inspiration to them...they vowed to work really hard in order to achieve greater heights n hopefully b able to study here at cambridge...n i remember being completely speechless at that very moment...

i'm glad they left with so much more than what they had came here with...so much more than a picture s well...(i didn't give them my autograph because i felt it would b too overbearing of me to do so)...i'm glad that it might b a turning point in their lives...(they promised me 50% of their income when they become millionaires in six years time...n james promised to find the cure for cancer)

but what do i get out of it all...well...the picture of course...a reminder of who i truly m...n of what i truly like...s well s satisfaction...that i've actually made n impact on the lives of other people...oh n not forgetting 15 pounds!...yay!

primitive courting ritual?

i remember having a discussion with alex n nick on the way to dot's last saturday night...details of the conversation r somewhat blurred...due to the influence of alcohol on my memory...however...considering the fact that alex was there...it was undoubtedly about dance...

i do remember starting it though...i said that...in my opinion...dancing was a remnant of our primitive courting behaviours...it was followed by a lot of bollocks...on behalf of alex n the bottle of beer he had in his hand (he was drunk by the time we got to dot's)...n we got a lot about alpha males...n hitting on the male judges...n what not...but it did shorten our long walk to dot's...

but now that i'm sober...(or so i hope)...i would like to elaborate on my statement...let's take clubbing for example...even before leaving for the club...we dress ourselves up in the best of our clothes in order to show off our assets...we make ourselves up n do up our hair in the attempt to look absolutely attractive on the dancefloor...rather similar to birds such s the peacock who display their colourful plummages isn't it?...

once we're on the dancefloor...we begin a complex dance to pull the hot stud from all the way across the floor...the dance involves creating sensual shapes with our bodies to attract attention...it involves complicated steps which subtly lead us to the target...n if everything goes according to plan...it all ends with two convoluted bodies gyrating against each other n sinuous hands feeling each other all around in the heat of lust...all very akin to certain birds that perform extravagant dances to attract n court their mate i have to say...

hmm...looks like evolution may have some truth in it after all...lol

m way too drunk...

another brilliant night out!...so before i turn in...n wake up hours later with a complete hangover...i shall pen down a few words in order to retain whatever memories i have left later on...

1. alex tried to pull this hot russian guy...who apparently didn't look too good up close...bad skin n crooked teeth...but due to his drunken stupor...he was willing to overlook it...so with my help...he tried to snag him...which was a rather hilarious attempt...i had to push alex towards the guy coz he was so reluctant to go talk to him...n while when we were on the dancefloor...i had to lead alex right up to the guy n give him a small shove in that direction so he could show his moves off to him...the fact that it ended in failure made it even more amusing...oh well...he wasn't that good a dancer anyway...

2. after mr russian guy...alex asked me if there was anyone there i'd pull...n me being completely drunk...pointed to this cute guy who was dressed rather smartly...n alex commented on the fact that he looked like a nine year old kid...(so what if i like the boyish type?)...anyways...alex cajoled me to speak to him...n when i was reluctant to do so...he dragged me all the way to him...n started introducing the both of us to sam (or so he is named)...sadly though...he was straight...which gave us quite a good laugh...coz i've always joked that the guys i fall for r either straight or unavailable...sam was rather open about it though...n i actually thought he was rather nice...(not to mention matured for his looks...lol)

3. on our way to the club...i had a discussion with alex about the lack of a fixed dance for gay men...i mean...u c female couples competing in the beginner's modern n latin ballroom competitions...but no male couples...n it was rather sad that society has placed such a negative outlook on males dancing together...with that in mind...n the fact that we spent four hours on the dancefloor...alex n i came up with the gyro...a non-discriminatory dance for all sexual orientations...we've already fixed the basic gyro steps...including the forward/backward gyro, the side gyro n the gyro rolls...lol...we also came up with the bend over, double bend over n shadow bend over...s well s the homage...all very entertaining...lol

4. finally...must immortalize the drunken state i'm in...or was in...a full pint of beer...a double vodka with red bull...a tequila shot...n a bottle of smirnoff ice...that's the most i've ever had so far...not to mention the fact that i was having a drinking competition with alex...so we practically downed all our drinks...(although i have to say that i wasn't very far behind...n my tolerance has gone up considerably)...but i couldn't keep my balance...n the only way i could do so was to keep on dancing n moving so s not to lose balance...urgh...also felt a few urges to let up for the first hour or so on the dancefloor...but it's alright now after a few glasses of water...courtesy of alex...now i'm actually rather sober (although i hope it's not the alcohol speaking right now)...but lots of water should make me feel alright later on...hope i don't get a hangover...although it'd give me a reason not to work... :P

overall...it was another great night out...following the one at dot's...but alex is really fun to club with...he's not only a great dancer (which justifies the fact that he's beginner's dancesport team captain)...but he's also a great sport!...n the fact that we're good friends (s well s him being my captain) makes it impossible for the both of us to fall for each other...so it's fun n dance all the way...woo hoo!

reminder to self: dancing three step turns n spirals all the way to life while being drunk n completely off balance is NOT a good idea...trust alex to come up with something like that...

inferiority complex?

so...barely two days ago...friday...i volunteered at n access programme...for potential university applicants...which involved the usual...answer questions...give advices...organize tours...rather fulfilling i found it to b...

that evening itself...i asked a friend over dinner...y he did not volunteer...being the confident person i know...n he answered nonchalantly..."inferiority complex"...to which i replied..."bollocks!"...aren't we just as good or even better than they r?...

so...barely a few hours ago...alex called me out to a big monthly clubbing scene...one word: fantastic!...alcohol was just right...music was perfect...but dance was at its peak...it was n unforgettable night out...

one regret though...in the midst of my moves...i caught the eye of n adonis!...s if chiselled right out of a greek vase...complete with blue eyes...n yet...i let the moment between us pass...alex noticed me checking him out constantly n told me to make my move...to which i replied nonchalantly..."nah"...

so he went up to him...n struck up a conversation with ease...leaving me in my dance with Envy...n it wasn't until the wee hours of the morning...when it was all over...did alex reveal the conversation he had with Joe (or so he was called):

i told him you thought he was hot!...n he said..."well...he's an amazing dancer!"...so i told him that u were too shy to meet him...n he said..."well...he's got to work on his self-esteem"...

inferiority complex?

Kreuzige, kreuzige!

the elaborately ornamented beams of the ceiling loomed far above...s the orchestra began to accompany the choir...the interweaving melodies of bach's st john passion cascade along the wooden panels..."Kreuzige, kreuzige!"...the stained great windows shake...while the stars above shiver...

fuck all of u malaysians!!!

dear emilyn...

while i'm at it...i wanna bitch about another malaysian trait that always gets on my nerves...it always happens at ktm stations, lrt stations n monorail stations...

imagine u're in a ktm or lrt or monorail...n u're about to reach your destination...but when the carriage pulls up at the station...u try n try your best...but u suddenly realize u can't get out...n y?...coz every fucking malaysian on the platform rushes to the doors...n forces their way into the carriage...ignoring those who try their best to get out...

i mean...what the fuck's their problem?...scared of being squished by the doors?...well it doesn't hurt...i can guarantee u that...i've been a victim of carnivorous doors far too many times...the result of trying to get out of the carriage when every fucking person on the platform's trying to get in...n i can vouch that it doesn't hurt a single bit...

but what's the problem actually?...i mean...if u're talking about the putra lrt...then maybe i can excuse u...coz it's driverless...but what the fuck's the problem when it's star lrt, monorail n ktm?...i mean...there r drivers driving the fucking thing...n it wouldn't make sense if they closed the doors when there r still passengers on the platform now would they?...dumb ass!...n even if it's the putra lrt...there's no excuse actually...coz i've tried n tested the timing of doors opening n closing...n i've always managed to get in just when the doors r about to close...

n don't use the fucking lame excuse of needing a place to sit...coz unless u're disabled, pregnant, elderly or having young kids with u...there's no need for u to sit...n if u're included in the category above...i'm quite sure there r thoughtful malaysians who r willing to offer up their seats for u...(but right now...i'm doubting that...but let's just assume for now ok?)...so stop being a loser n stand for a bit...

seriously...u guys make me feel ashamed of being a malaysian...try lar...just try for once to b good malaysians...live up to my expectations...they're not that high...i'm not asking u to give away all your possessions to the homeless...i'm just asking u to fucking b patient n let those inside the carriage come out first...is that really so hard to do?...

fuck u all!
k

i m british s voted by malaysians

dear emilyn...

feeling damn fucked up right now...bout two hours ago...daniel was crowned our second malaysian idol...shocked at first...but now...terribly disappointed n utterly disgusted with the attitude n mentality of malaysians...

i've said it many times already...malaysian idol is a singing competition...not a beauty pageant...i have to admit...daniel's cute...he's my type of guy with his typical chinese guy-next-door look...but he can't sing...n although nita doesn't look too good herself...she can sing...not s good s jacq nor dina...but certainly better than daniel...

i m seriously very disappointed to call myself a malaysian right now...i can't believe that people can still vote for the wrong reasons...once again...the shallow mentality of malaysians has been proven by the fact that they vote for someone based entirely on his/her physical appearance...

at least that i still can take...but i recently heard that daniel was voted because of his race!...i mean...how disgusting is that?!...fuck man!...that's the most childish lamest n stupidest thing to do...voting for someone coz of him being chinese...please lar...it doesn't fucking matter if the winner's a malay or a chinese or n indian...whoever it is...he/she has to b good enough for us malaysians to hold our head high when he/she is representing us at the international front of world idol...

that said...i'm now a british...i've renounced my malaysian citizenship...n m now a british...i'm too ashamed to call myself a malaysian...*sigh...but deep down in me...i'm damn patriotic...which is y i'm damn fucked up right now...although i'm utterly reviled by malaysians...i still can stand by them...i'll still support daniel when he represents us at world idol...i'll still hold my head high n tell everyone that he's the best...coz it's not his fault anywayz...(plus he is cute...somebody intro me to him!...kekeke)...

so that's that...
laterz
k

contemplating china (pix)

forbidden city

great wall

cute lil gong tao zai

contemplating china (thoughts)

dear emilyn...

here r my contemplations on my trip to china...kekeke...which to me...is much more interesting than the itenerary...or what i did there...

ok first off...like malacca...visiting china was really something...to actually bear witness to the great edifices n magnificent structures...i was practically struck dumb...the forbidden city...the summer palaces...the great wall...n to think they were constructed during ancient times...one can only imagine the wealth n power of chinese emperors...the greatness of the chinese civilization...

s i explored the ancient palaces of the emperors...looked in upon the lavish throne room...walked down the long graceful corridors...rested at the vast exotic gardens...i transported myself back into the past...during the reign of the emperor...right into his shoes...clothed in yellow silk robes...adorned with priceless jade...i could imagine the power n wealth in my hands...n the desire to proclaim it to the world...

but suddenly...i'm transported into another world...the separated world of the commoners...outside the forbidden city...into the narrow streets...n small poor houses of beijing...it's a real shocking change of reality actually...from the yellow silk covered beds of the emperor...to the hard gravel where the homeless sleep...from the comfortable life of royalty...to the hardworking life of peasants...

this sense of hardwork made n impression on me...in beijing...wherever u go...u c teenagers...probably around my age...or maybe younger...15 onwards...doing all sorts of jobs...guards...cleaners...factory workers...all sorts...really...the sort of jobs that malaysian teenagers would not normally do...n i found out that these teenagers r from provinces outside of hebei province...

without sufficient money to further their studies after middle school...these provincial teenagers who come from a family of farmers travel to the capital to look for jobs in the hopes of altering their destinies...but considering that fact that beijing itself has already 13 million people...it's no surprise that they have no choice but to accept n settle for any job...unlike malaysians who r really spoilt for choice...

but i have to commend them on their determination...their struggle to change their futures...to survive in this cold harsh world...all on their own...

ooh...n another thing...china's transportation system is so cool!...they have the usual buses n taxis...but they also have electrical trams...kinda like the ones in san frans i think...which is so eco-friendly...n they have subways...which reminded me of london...kekeke...but what makes it all unique is their trishaws...n bicycles...in fact...the bicycle is the main form of transport in beijing...with bicycle lanes conjested with people n their bikes...kekeke...it's really cool...someday...someday...i'm gonna live in a country where bikes r favoured...n i won't even buy myself a car...kekeke

all in all...travelling to china...in a way...it made me look in on myself n introspect...i understand myself better now...since i now know where i come from...my past n history...my origins...n somehow...i've found a part of my identity...understand the blood the flows through my veins...n whenever i come across a wall...all i have to do is look back over my shoulders...to look upon the greatness of the ancient chinese civilization looming over my back...its shadow protecting me n yet at the same time...threatening me...n goading me to challenge its own greatness...that once was...because i m from the same flesh n blood...

regards
k

contemplating china (itinerary)

dear emilyn...

here's the itinerary of my travels in china...it's 8 days long...n we visited quite a lot of places...so i'll leave the thoughts n pic for later...

day 1
flight to beijing | spectacular acrobatic show

day 2
gate of heavenly peace in tiananmen square | forbidden city | underground beijing city | temple of heaven

day 3
great wall of badaling | dingling tomb of the ming tombs

day 4
confucius temple | imperial summer palace | trishaw ride through hutong

day 5
bus to chengde

day 6
summer resort of chengde | little potala temple | bus back to beijing

day 7
bus to tianjin | cultural street | food street | bus back to beijing | zheng yang men ancient gate | bus to back beijing

day 8
beijing national zoo | flight back to kl

might not seem a lot...but it is...coz the places were expansive n took up lots of time...n not forgetting the various factories n shopping places we visited that i've omitted due to the lack of interest on my part...

so that's it for now...i'll blog about my take on the trip later...

cheers
k

malaysian tour: part 3 (pix)

malaysian tour: part 3 (thoughts)

dear emilyn...

so now here's my take on the trip...basically...visiting the historical town of malacca was really something...everytime we visited a historical site...i kept thinking to myself...'this was already there 5 centuries ago'...'this was already real half a millenium ago'...n i kept imagining how it really was back then...the place...the people...the atmosphere...

imagine a famosa...500 years ago...after the fall of the malaccan malay sultanate to the portugese...war cries echo off the fort walls...long spears n keris' flash in the blazing sun...under the leadership of sultan mahmud...the malay warriors charge upon the walls of a famosa like the waves of the straights of malacca...up on the battlements...the thunder of guns can b heard...s the portugese soldiers defend the fort confidently...felling s many malay warriors s their ammunition allows...although the walls of the fort have lasted for half a millenium...it still remembers the bitterness of spilt blood n the saltiness of seaspray...

another thing...i'd like to put in my 2 cents worth on the bus system in malacca...if u'd noticed...we travelled around by bus most of time...but unlike in kl...the bus system in malacca is efficient...largely due to the construction of malacca sentral...a fully air-conditioned hub for bus transportation within the state...all 'domestic' n 'international' bus routes converge there...making it really efficient to get around n not to mention comfortable...

kl sentral should emulate this...i mean...busses r relatively much more cheaper n can serve a wider coverage area...so besides being the convergence point for the lrt, monorail, ktm n erl...y not make it into a hub for bus transportation too?...then only would kl sentral truly serve s the centre for public transportation that is worthy of the capital of malaysia...the people would also b much happier too...

oh n one more thing...whatever the goverment's trying to do...to fairly distribute the races throughout malaysia...isn't working at all...i mean...after travelling around malaysia for the past few months...i can definitely say that states outside of kl...have fewer non-bumis than in kl...i mean...come to think of it...it was quite hard for me to find a non-bumi in kt, kb, alor n mal...in my opinion...this isn't fair...coz i think the bumis should have a shot at living in kl too...n i think the goverment should do something about it...since it has promised to do so...

n last but not the least of all...it's a known fact...i love to travel...coz it opens my eyes to things i would never c at home...n after all this travelling...one thing has made a deep imprint on my mind...n that's how thankful i should b with the blessings that God has bestowed upon me...

i mean...visiting the states outside of kl really gives me n insight into the lives of those who live in poorer states...what they lack...what they need...n what they want...n it makes me grateful that i'm living in affluent kl...where there is abundance in resources...if not adequate...food...knowledge...n stuff...so i'm thankful to God for that...

so that's all for now...quite a bit actually...i think i'll postpone my blog on my travels to beijing till later...give u time to digest all of this first...kekeke...

cheers
k

malaysian tour: part 3 (malacca)

dear emilyn...

right...so i promised to blog about my travels...well...first off...was the continuation of my malaysian tour...or cuti-cuti malaysia...s my good friend azam would put it...kekeke...so this episode of state hopping takes me to the historical state of malacca...oooh...aaah...

thankfully though...i didn't go alone coz my good friend cherap tagged along...after much persuasion on my part...our 'tourguide' this time was none other than cherap's ex-roomate lid...who's also a good friend of mine...he was helped by another friend of ours aufa...

so let me c...if i remember correctly...cherap n i left for malacca by bus at 12 noon from pudu...n arrived at malacca sentral about 2 in the afternoon...after meeting up with lid n aufa...we had lunch before setting of by bus to the town of malacca...

our first stop was the christ church of malacca...followed by the stadhuys or administrative centre during the portugese n dutch occupation of malacca...next we hiked up the hill to st paul's church...before going down to the a famosa fort...or what's left of it...kekeke...last but not least was the palace of the malay sultanate...or a conjecture to b more precise...after which...we took the bus back to lid's house...wow!...on retrospect...i can't believe we visited so many places in just 1 afternoon...kekeke...we sure did walk quite a distance...

the next day...we headed out of town to ayer keroh side...we went to the mini malaysian n asean park...which is basically a big park with traditional malay wooden houses from all the states of malaysia...s well s houses representing each country of asean...after visiting all the houses of malaysia...(the asean one's were under renovation)...we had lunch...before visiting the crocodile farm...before heading home at night...lid took us to a beautiful scenic spot of a petroleum refinery near his house...it was so beautiful...a city of lights set against a black star-speckled blanket of night...breathtaking n inspiring...

the next day...cherap n i headed home...yeah...quite a short stay...but we did c quite a bit actually...but that's just what we did in malacca...the next post has my take on the trip...kekeke

cheers
k

this is yeoth reporting live from kl...

rite...so today...i had some business to settle in town...right in the middle of city centre...kuala lumpur...the big apple of malaysia...

n i was thinking to myself...'omg...i have to go to town...in this haze!...made worst by pedestrians inhaling precious oxygen n exhaling unwanted carbon dioxide...s well s congested traffic belching up poisonous exhaust fumes...n what with the dust n all some more'...omg...yep i had to brave such dangers s i ventured into the concrete jungle of kl...

but then again i thought...kl's api reached the hazardous level yesterday...300+ if i'm not mistaken...so anyone out on the streets...what more the streets of kl...r definitely out of their minds!...or suicidal!...unless like me...they have some well-justified reason...so i thought...'hmm...well maybe there won't b any pedestrians in kl taking up all my oxygen'...n with that thought in my head...i bravely don my haze mask...n made my way to town...

my house - pusat bandar damansara - bangsar station - pasar seni station - central market - petaling street - plaza rakyat - maybank tower - pudu station...n back...that's the route i took...so it's a no brainer that i had some business to settle at pudu...but what business that is...is for u to think about, brainy... :)

but that's not the main point here...what i wanna blog about is that...everything in kl is pretty much normal...seriously!...i was surprised...i mean...we had n api that was in the hazardous level...n here were pedestrians...lots of them too...walking up n down the streets of kl...without masks on...s if the air didn't contain any carcinogenic particles...which who has supposedly claimed...omg...don't these people know that they're having a death wish!...

i personally believe they should go n smoke themselves to death with ciggs...i mean...at least they'll feel calmer too at the same time...coz that's what nicotine does...but now i think i have a small glimpse of the smoking realm...n i still can't understand smokers...i mean...for one thing...there r much more better ways to kill oneself...ways that r more dramatic n artistic...but worst of all is the fact that they're killing those around them too!...people they know...n probably love...s well s innocent people whom they don't know...i mean...how selfish can u get?...

gosh...seriously...i'm sorry if u're a smoker n u're reading this...but i don't like lying to people...i prefer to b honest with them...coz i'd like them to b honest with me...n maybe tell me things that i might have missed out on smoking...coz s u can c...my argument's pretty much one sided...

but anywayz...on a much lighter note...i think the haze is clearing up...yay!...coz the sun peeked in this afternoon on my way to town...for the first time...the sun!...heh...hmm...if it gets better...maybe i might not need to cancel my excursion to malacca...hurray!...

haze phase...

ok so what else is new?...i mean...it's frontpage news...n it's been blaring on the radio n tv all day long...but because it affects me...since i'm a malaysian citizen living in the klang valley...here's my two cents worth of...no not thoughts...but bitchings n rantings...

i mean...have u looked out your window today?...i can barely see the trees surrounding my house...n what happened to the sparkling blue skies, puffy white clouds n bright yellow sun that malaysia is so proud of?...i'm judging visibilitie's down to what?...100 m?...my goodness...the haze is bad...wait...check that...it's not bad...it's terrible!...

seriously...i mean...what do u do when the air pollutant index (api) reaches 300 plus in the klang valley?...y...stay at home of course...indoors...away from the haze...but what happens when the haze diffuses into your very house?...argh!...where do i run to?...i can't escape...i'm trapped...help!

the worst thing is...it seems that this haze is worst than the 1997 episode...i mean...it's gotta b...considering the fact that some parts of malaysia have declared emergency...damn...n i used to think that n emergency would b nice...no school n all the crap that comes with it...but now i think it practically sucks...i mean...i might have to call off my trip to malacca...s well s the trip to beijing...n grad might b called off this sat...damnit...everything's disrupted...

n to top it all...world health organization (who) seems to have declared this haze to b carcinogenic...damnit...s if it couldn't get any worse...when it rains it pours...i mean...great...now i'm being surrounded by microscopic particulates that could cause cancer...omg...this explains the mask i'm wearing now...while typing this...

hmm...n i'll have to close all the windows in my room...which means having to cut of all air curculation...if i'm found dead tomorrow...it's probably coz of suffocation...

malaysian tour: southbound (prt 1)

dear emilyn...

so i continued my malaysian tour today...southbound...to johor...it was killing 2 birds with 1 stone actually...coz i volunteered to help out at a medical mission under mercy malaysia...we provided standard outpatient treatment n primary medical health screening to the orang asli seletar...at kampung teluk kabung in johor...past johor baru n port pasir gudang...right to the sea...heh

so we left mercy hq in ampang at 5 in the morning...no kidding...coz it's a 4 to 5 hour journey...n we had to b there by 8...so s it already was...we were late...but seriously tired...getting at 4...slept a bit...except for the 2 stops in between for subuh prayers n breakfast...was really nice talking to the doctors about life s a medical student n officer...they were really cool n sporting n all...it was nice...

arrived there...at 11...heh...guess we overstayed on our stops...heh...so the crowd was quite small by then...n we handled the stragglers...heh...me being a non-medical volunteer...couldn't do much except help out by feeding deworming medication to children...it wasn't that hard...coz i've experienced it before when i helped out with gleneagles hospital...

anywayz...the place there is really beautiful...teluk kabung...it's always windy with the slight tinge of salt in the air...the houses of the orang asli...they being fishermen...were built on the sea...some floating whilst the rest were anchored to the seabed...was really interesting to have n insight into their livelihoods...living in peace with the sea...

after the healthcare service was over...the penghulu treated us at his seafood restaurant...oh my gosh...we were presented with a feast fit for kings...fried rice...mee...prawns...squid...lala...crabs...fish...n coconut water to top it all off...we ate like there was no tomorrow...heh i'll b looking forward to the next mercy malaysia event...heh...

oh n guess what?...i witnessed something which reminded me both of koi fish n prostitution...of course the restaurant was on the sea too...so there were a group of orang asli kids in the sea...who grab the attention of the restaurant's patrons...who fling coins into the sea for them to catch or look for on the seabed...all for the amusement of the patrons...

well...of course it's extra pocket money...but don't u think there r better ways of earning it...then to sell yourself to other people for their entertainment?...now i'm wondering whose fault is it?...the kids who sell themselves or the patrons who encourage it?...hmm...

so anywayz...after that...we headed back home...with full bellies...naturally goading us to sleep on the way home...but we stopped by a few houses along the way to drop off the doctors...we stopped by johor baru for some shut eye first coz the doctor driving the 4 wheeler couldn't take it...what with waking early in the morning...n then driving home with a full stomach...

n much later...on our way home...we stopped by a minangkabau kampung in negeri sembilan to drop of kak yatie...who treated us to a typical malay dinner...which meant sitting cross-legged on the floor n having to eat with my bare hands...but surprisingly...i didn't find it unusual anymore n it just came to me naturally...heh...guess my previous excursion to the northeastern states with my other malay friends left n indelible mark...heh...

after that...they dropped me off...at home...was about 10 i think...can't remember clearly...coz i was completely knackered...let's c...17 hours overall...yeesh...although the travelling part's exhausting...the experience was nonetheless priceless n worthwhile...really enjoyed myself...heh...like i said...killing 2 birds with 1 stone...heh

anywayz...that's it...oh n guess what?...i finished harry potter's half blood prince in a day...guess that comes from doing nothing except bumming around the house...hmm...looks like i'll b ravaging all my books until i fly i guess...heh...now reading telling tales weaved with coelho's the devil n miss prym...heh...

happy hols from
k

ps sorry no pics...damn cam ran out of battery...n there were so many beautiful scenes there too...damnit...but i have myself to blame...for not charging it...

constitutional contradiction

dear emilyn...

remember i told u about the discussion i was having with my x-classmates the other night?...well...it was regarding the following statement...extracted from this article:

"Significantly, the High Court also concluded that Malays could not renounce Islam at all as they were defined by the Federal Constitution to be persons of the Islamic faith."

basically...it states that under the federal consitution of malaysia...all malays r considered to b muslims...n they cannot change their religion...because the constitution recognises them only s such...

i find this rather disturbing...because our constitution is suppose to guarantee our freedom to practise any religion we desire...but how is this possible?...considering the fact the malays r already categorised under islam...n not having the right to change it when they come of age...

despite discussing it all night...we could not come to a conclusion...because we do not even know our own constitution well enough...but if we r correct...then there must b a contradiction within our constitution...n i find that rather troubling...considering the fact that our constitution is the highest law in malaysia...

but here's something interesting which i read somewhere...according to the hudud law...any muslim who renounces islam...will b sentenced to death by the syariah court...but here's the catch...it seems that in malaysia...a country claiming to b n islamic country although it does not execute the hudud law...if a muslim were to renounce islam...he/she is no longer bound to the hudud law...thus, he/she cannot b sentenced to death by the syariah court...cool huh?...

anywayz...that's about it...a nice little brainteaser for u...that should keep u occupied for a while...heh...but the thing about malaysia is...it's claims to b n islamic country...n yet...it doesn't adhere to certain characteristics of n islamic country...but then again...it's malaysia we're talking about...period...heh

cheers
k

wall climbing & bouldering

dear emilyn...

what a day!...seriously!...phew!...did something completely out of the ordinary...something unusual for once...well kinda...met up with shanti n irvin...n we went to summit usj to do some wall climbing n bouldering...it's been 4 years since me n shanti did something like this at obs...

sorry we didn't call u but we knew u wouldn't b interested in this kinda stuff...we did call yinn yinn n shangari...but they couldn't make it...so it was just me, irvin n shanti...rather sporting of her though...she being the only girl...but then again...she's into stuff like this...so it wasn't really surprising...

we had a blast though!...after a quick n brief lecture n the safety procedures n all...just to jog back our memories since obs...like tying the figure of 8s...belaying n stuffs...we went to climbing immediately...we (well me n shanti) tried the 5b's n 5b+'s...all of them...seriously tired out...by the time i tried the 5c one...didn't have enough energy in my hands to pull myself up...seriously...there was a sense of helplessness where i just simply couldn't push myself up to the next footing...or even hold on to the footing to rest...so i just had to give it up...but that was almost to the end already...will keep that for another day...coz i'll definitely return

we tried traversing...along the walls horizontally...n bouldering...which was fun...coz u didn't need the uncomfortable harness...n it's n interesting route to climb...tried that like four or five times...coz u didn't need a belayer too...so we all did that...fun!

while climbing...we also rested...sat down...n chatted...caught up on each other...discussed philosophy...which was surprisingly interesting...n definitely something different for a change...a weird day of unusual-ness today...heh...

damn tired now...my hands don't ache though...yet...i'm pretty much sure they're gonna ache like hell tomorrow...they're just numb at the moment...lifeless...can't even lift up anything light...not to mention typing...tiring...but the thought of blogging it makes it bearable...i'm practically resting my wrists heavily on the keyboard...heh...damn...how ar?...i have work tomorrow...

haih...anywayz...i'm not complaining...i truly enjoyed myself for once...it's been a long time since i last had a workout like this one...n i'll truly go back there to work out like maybe once in a week...i have a climbing kaki now...heh...irvin...he's such a fanatic...n a pro at the same time though...so that's it i guess...really wanna rest...tomorrow's gonna b a long day...

cheers
k

lrt, starbucks n mamak

dear emilyn...

the one thing i'll definitely miss about malaysia...when i'm in the uk...will b its outdoor-ishness...let me explain myself...

1. i'll miss kl's outdoor rail transport system...in other words...kl's putra n star lrt s well s the monorail...the heat n dust from the open stations will definitely contrast the cold n dark subways of london...heh...but more than that...somehow or another...there's a difference between rubbing shoulders with malaysians n brits...take it from me...there's a sense of intimacy brushing each other with nothing but thin clothing in this hot n humid country...compared to a sense of detachment when jostling with the brits in their thick clothing...heh...u could get lost in their jungle of fur!...call me crazy but there's a sense of nostalgia with kl's lrt system...sniff*

2. i'll definitely miss outdoor coffee at starbucks...slurping ice blended chocolate on a warm night...under the moon n stars...while watching people pass by...heh...a favourite malaysian pastime...i know they have it there in the uk...but i'll only b doing that during the summer...can't imagine myself...freezing my butt of while slurping n ice blended chocolate in the cold windy winters of the uk...

3. n one thing i'll definitely miss in malaysia...will b its outdoor mamak stalls!...heh...having a variety of roti such s roti canai (roti kosong) or roti telur or roti planta...milo ice which could kill u with diabetes...maggi goreng which could cause a mycardial infarction with the amount of oil used...

but it's not just the food...but the hanging out part with friends after midnight...also under the stars n moon...but the chilling n talking n laughing...the noisy n loud atmosphere itself doesn't really help much at quelling the talking n laughing that'll normally ensue...expecially when a group of old friends get together to reminisce on the good old days...

can't really picture that in the uk...where shops normally close after what?...3 in the afternoon...during winter...later during the summer...6 in the evening?...well definitely no late night suppers...no late night supper means no late night gatherings...no late night gatherings would mean no laughing n talking...anywayz...i can't picture a group of us chilling in the cold british night at some outdoors cafe...we'll probably b too busy trying to warm ourselves up to even speak to each other...heh...maybe during the summer though...

hmm...but definitely going to miss malaysia...how about u?...u've been in aus for what?...3 years now?...how do u find it?...hope to hear from u soon...

cheers
k

literature: religion & imperialism

dear emilyn...

being surrounded all day by books...u get to do a lot of thinking...n what else can u think about...but: books!...heh...

but seriously...one thing i've thought about...n one thing i've come to realize is that...the main reason y a book...especially a work of literature...doesn't seem to capture a person's interest...is because the reader cannot relate to it...there's nothing to which the reader can associate himself with...

take me s n example of a reader...(although i'm rather illiterate...compared to some of my other contemporaries)...let's take two books that i've read s examples...n examine them...

first...i love the life of pi...y?...because religion has always been n idea that i've been in conflict with...it's philosophy has always plagued my mind...it's timeless questions have always haunted my dreams...even till this very day...so much so...that i've conceived my own perception of religion...

n yann martel has so exactly penned down these very same thoughts in her latest bestseller...(which won the 2002 man booker prize)...in addition to that...she also added some of her own opinions...of which i find myself drawn towards...although i do not agree with all of them...but c...there's a sense of connection there...where one soul touches another...this is what art is all about...

but take joseph conrad's heart of darkness...gosh...to me...it's the dullest book ever written by man...y is that?...well probably because i was not alive during the years of western imperialism...because i could not appreciate the ideals of that time...n because of this...it was of no value to me...

but the next thing one should ask is:...who's fault is it?...the writer or the reader?...i mean...think about it...don't they say that art is timeless...s in...the things that writers write about...appeal not just to those who live through their time...but for future generations too...right?...or wrong?...

is it the writers fault then for not conveying the message accurately enough to b able to move others...or to at least cause others to feel how he felt so much so till that he just had to write it down in a book...after all...isn't that what a writer is supposed to b doing?...

hmm...guess there's more thinking to b done obviously...so till nex time...take care n cheers...

k

politics n racism

dear emilyn...

can't write much this time...sorry bout that...friggin tired...jus got back from btn...biro tatanegara...it's a camp for gov scholars furthering their studies overseas...basically to instil patriotism (or so they say)...five whole days of non-stop lectures...eight hours a day...n only five hours of sleep each day...thank goodness for the outdoor activities...or i would've gone mad!...seriously...although only a few hours a day...the repelling n flying fox really helped in keeping my sanity...but overall...ok lar...probably due to the many friends i made there...learnt a lot there really...s well s gained a lot of experiences too...although i might missed out some stuffs here coz of my bad memory...here's what i can recall...

1. i still hate politics...y?...well coz once again...politics has reared its ugly head up again...which makes me wonder if i'll b able to run away from it...true...the camp did instil patriotism...what with learning our history n present situation...but the political agenda was so obvious...aren't gov officers supposed to b neutral regardless of which party is the ruling party?...to serve the people unreservedly?...yeesh...can't believe the gov used this camp to brainwash students...all just to make us support their party n vote for them in the upcoming elections...yeesh...dirty n corrupt...that's what politics truly is about...

2. people can truly b scum...seriously...i mean...how can two hp worth rm 2000 b stolen in a camp filled with gov scholars?...scholars who r supposed to b the creme of the country...future leaders of tomorrow...i mean...people also scrutinize leaders...saying: 'how can he/she have stolen the country's money?...well the answer is: 'look at our scholars today...those who will take over the administrations of the country in the near future'...scum...

3. racism is still present in our country...n i can't believe it's prevalent in the top notches of our country's government...i mean...what the hell is bumiputera n non-bumiputera suppose to mean?...aren't i born in this country too?...don't i love it s much if not more than 'bumis'?...no wonder mahathir was still worried about racial harmony...people just need to get past the malay, chinese n indian thing...n then everything will truly b s they should b...haih...there's so much this country still needs to learn...n that's what i'm gonna do when i come back...

anywayz..that's all i can remember for now...kinda random huh?...yeah well...just extracted them from my mind...for record's sake...anywayz...gtg...starting work tomorrow...to pay off the expenses i spent on my travels n the new mp3 player i bought...need to catch up on my much needed rest...or i'll b dozing off during work tmr...so take care n God bless...

ooh...malaysian idol's on...mmm...think i'll watch that...before catching up on my sleep...

later
k

malaysian tour review

dear emilyn...

this is already going to b quite a long post...check that...a very long post...so i'll cut it short...sorry for the delay though...

kelantan
1 june
arrived at kota bharu...azam n i...went around town with naim...chilled at kb mall in the afternoon...bummed at billion at night...bought loads of dvds...had a mini horror fest that night...watched shutter (damn scary) n the others (friggin good movie)...

2 june
went to lata tembakah...(which is really at besut, terengganu actually)...together with another two of naim's friends...first time bathing at a natural waterfall...water was friggin cold...flowing damn fast...clean n clear too...was very cool!...had tonnes of fun!...most enjoyable!...

3 june
went to pengkalan kubor...tax-free area...lots of shops selling a myriad of things at cheap prices...clothes n accessories n stuffs...didn't buy anything though...was saving money for the rest of my malaysian tour...left kb that night...all three of us...for alor star...

kedah
4 june
arrived at alor star...headed straight for adlan's kampung in baling...attended his cousin's wedding ceremony...my first traditional malay wedding...helped out with distributing the food...gotong-royong style...a very interesting insight into their way of life...second time i ate with my hands on this trip...

that night went to ulu legong hot spring...water was seriously friggin hot...hmm...about 40 to 50 degrees celsius...but only a matter of getting used to...even so...the whole place was steaming...if not for the crowd of people even at one in the morning...it would've been spooky...didn't know malaysia had such a place...

5 june
went bathing at lata bayu...heh...second time bathing in a natural waterfall...n on this very same trip too...we headed right to the very top...where there were no people n the water was cold, fast n clear...smashing really!...had a truly enjoyable time with the guys...after that...headed back to alor star...

that night...went bowling at city plaza...which i totally suck at...majorly...compared to naim n adlan...who were obviously the pros...s well s azam too...who was so obviously hiding his real talent...heh...but was fun though...

6 june
took it easy already...friggin tired after all that travelling...so we hung out at star parade...same old...heh...bought dvds n some cds...seems that piracy runs rampant at the northern n eastern states...so basically went shopping...managed to lay my hands on butterfly effect...damn friggin good movie!...seriously!...

7 june
went to the alor star tower...not that tall...but quite impressive...obviously couldn't hold a candle to the kl tower...but it's still n achievement for such a state up north...far from the capitol...

8 june
went to star parade again...this time just to surf at their cc...heh...had lived without the internet for a week...just couldn't stand it anymore...yeesh...starting to wonder about my reliance n dependency on the internet...heh...

anywayz...after that...went shopping for more cds n dvds again...heh...well since it was provided with the utmost abundance there...so y not?...

that night...took the bus back to kl...three of us...naim, azam n i...

kuala lumpur
9 june
arrived in kl at pudu...mum brought us home first...prayers, breakfast n a short rest...before we went to times square area...met up with yuyul n her lil bro n hafyz...went walking around low yat first...

later...went to sungei wang...shopping again...n lunch...hafyz n yuyul n her lil bro n naim went bowling...while azam n i hunted down for my mp3 player at low yat...bought creative's muvo slimit at 480...which seriously rocks!...the cheapest price i could get after hunting all over low yat...the highest price i could find was about 600...yeesh...what a rip off i u ask me...thanx to chewman for his info n azam for patiently hunting with me...heh

after that...went to times square...walked around...had a look at the indoor amusement park...before watching imax's back to the crustaceaous...seriously friggin cool!...the 3d graphics seriously made it look damn real...was wondering how shutter would've been on imax...scary!...heh...

headed home after that...received news that mara was to have their btn on 13 this month too...so decided to cancel much of our plans...which included headin down to malacca...naim n azam wanted to head home n prepare for their btn the next day...

10 june
since their bus was scheduled at night...went around central market in the afternoon...wanted to buy some stuffs...but funds were short...so decided to postpone that...the pendant n dreamcatcher looked so tempting...hmm...maybe next time...heh...

headed to klcc next...to enquire bout part timing there...at petrosains or maxis...but seriously speaking...it's too far from where i live...prefer working at times in bsc...anywayz...will keep petrosains open...had lunch before heading back home...

sent naim to putra bus station to catch his bus back to kb at night...n dropped azam there too to catch the ktm to his aunt's place...in kepong...since he couldn't get a bux ticket home...

frankly speaking...there's nothing much u can do in kl...unless u have the money...haih...come to think of it...it's pretty boring to b a townie...heh...no adventure at all!...

that's it...although had two days of rest already...just bumming around the house...no time to learn how to upload photos onto blogger...so i'll do it later...won't b hearing from me for a week at least coz i have btn to attent...mon to fri...so i'll chat with u later k?...till then...take care n god bless

k

kt: day three

dear emilyn...

it's finally my last day here in kt...heh...didn't do much at all...pretty much slept the whole day through...laziness finally caught up with us...heh...so yeah that's basically it really...woke up late...watched tv...bathed n had breakfast...watched more tv...slept again...had lunch...watched even more tv...slept again...heh...it's a wonder how cherap can stay so thin with his current holiday lifestyle n the amount that he eats...breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner n supper...heh

anywayz...had to do something before i wasted my last day here...so at about 5.oo pm in the evening...woke asyraf up...had tea...picked up azam n shue...n went down to the beach near shue's house...scenery was spectacular n refreshing...especially for a typical townie such s myself...we took some really great photos...priceless...heh...

at about 7.00 pm...sent shue home...stopped by for cherap n azam to perform their maghrib prayers at the surau in front of her house...while i waited by the car...guess i looked like some up-to-no-good chinese gangster slouching around the area after being high on drugs or something...received a few stares from the people around...heh...thank goodness shue invited me into her house...away from their accusing stares...i wonder if it's because i'm a chinese...yeesh no wonder the government's still worried about national unity...

anywayz...after their prayers...cherap n azam joined me...they got a very warm welcome from shue's siblings n cousins...heh...enjoyed ourselves there...but we didn't really stayed long as we wanted to have our dinner outside...so we left shortly after finishing our drinks...heh...went to a roadside restaurant n had dinner...talked among ourselves...just the three of us...reminiscing on our 2 years in mcb...our choral speaking english presentation...heh...n our tok presentation...heh...never will i ever forget those moments...heh...nice...

anywayz...that's it for now...currently at azam's place...crashing here before the both of us catch the 8.30 am bus tomorrow morning to kb...where we'll meet up with naim...who'll b our guide around kb...woo hoo!...can't wait...till next time then...take care

k

ps...i'm not too sure if naim has internet connection in kb...so if u don't hear from me for some time...it's probably because i don't have the means to write u...so far...cherap n azam has streamyx...even in alor i'm not too sure if adlan has streamyx...but don't worry...i'll write u s soon s i have the opportunity...cheers

kt: day two

dear emilyn...

continuing my nationwide malaysian tour with my second day at kt...cherap, azam n i went into town itself...situated at the terengganu river estuary...typical coastal town bordering the sea n lining the river...with fishing as its main source of economy...

so we rented a boat n went upstream...which was very cool...coz it seemed like a time travel to me...from the hustle n bustle of modern kt...to the slumbering fishing villages along the river...to the virgin jungles upriver...caught a glimpse of what the olden days must've been for the terengganese...children bathing in the river while adults mend their boats...

we went all the way up to the state muzium...reputedly the largest muzium in southeast asia...its old architecture made it seem like n ancient ruin rising above the threatening jungle...lonely n foreboding...cool!...like something out of conrad's heart of darkness...

so anywayz...spent n hour on the river...half upstream n half downstream...with the sun tanning my skin...wind styling my hair...water spraying my face...friends talking n laughing together...truly n enjoyable moment...

so after that...we walked around town...revisiting the places that cherap n azam used to visit...heh...they introduced me to the various specialized sections of kt...heh...which was rather weird to me...having a whole row of digital shops here...a whole row of shoe shops there...n a whole row of barbers there...heh...really weird compared to the commercial styles of kl in its expansive shopping complexes such s midvalley n klcc...

but i think the funniest thing was the fact that cherap n azam seemed like foreigners to me too...although this was their birthplace...coz they themselves did not notice the changes in kt...like which buildings were gone n which buildings were newly built...which shops were there n which weren't...heh...

i'll never forget the time when azam wanted to buy some dvds from this shop...only to realize that the shop was gone...heh...the sheer surprise in his voice n face: priceless...heh...but i can understand them...seeing as they've been studying in boarding schools since secondary school...n only to return home once or twice every year...n even then...to stay at home n pay back their sleep debt...heh...what'll happen when they leave kt only to return after 3 years?...heh...only time will tell...

so that's about it...actually come to think of it...we didn't really do much today...just around town really...but it was really fun n cool...anywayz...till tomorrow then...for day three...but don't expect much coz i think i'll b taking it easy too...

k

kt: day one

dear emilyn...

as planned...cherap n i left for kt from the putra bus station...bus was 40 minutes late...so departed at 11.40 pm...typical malaysian punctuality...anywayz...thank God for my windbreaker...bus' sub-zero temperature would've frozen me to death...but couldn't sleep anywayz...friggin bus driver probably thought he was n f1 friver...driving at a reckless speed on roads that were being repaired n corneering without brakes...so there i was...drifting in n out of sleep...worrying bout my life...heh...

anywayz...arrived safely in kt the next morning at about 7.15 am...cherap's dad took us home...nice place...a fusion of a modern brickhouse n a traditional wooden house fashioned like a typical malay kampung house...fascinating!...spooky: his house is situated in front of a graveyard...anywyaz...had some breakfast...kt style...cheap but portions r friggin small...so u end up spending the same amount for two or three portions to satisfy the same diet requirement...anywayz, finally got some good quality shut-eye till bout noon...

later...went to a kenduri kahwin with cherap's family...thank God i learnt how to eat with my hands in college or i'd have made a fool out of myself since no forks or spoons were provided...obviously, they weren't expecting a chinese guy for lunch...heh...only problem was my long nails...not that they were dirty but it made eating quite hard...realized it too late...gonna cut them off after writing this...

in the evening...picked up azam, shue n her lil sis from their houses with cherap's car...got lost at shue's...heh...who'd have thought she lived in such n isolated place on the far outskirts of town...heh...we were all asking her if she had electricity n phone access there...heh...poor girl to get stuck with us teasers...anywayz...went to this beach carnival at pantai batu burok...basically like a pasar malam by the beach...lots of stalls selling stuffs such as food, clothes n all...had n interesting dinner of aiskrim goreng...heh...a paradoxical name, don't u think...unbelievable but not impossible...later took a stroll on the beach...sound of waves n touch of wind...sand under feat n stars above head...company of best friends at the eastern coast on a moonlit night...what more could u have asked for?...it is times like these that i just thank God for the simple things in life that we can take pleasure of...

about 10.30 pm...sent shue home...half excited n half afraid...driving down a long, dark n desolate road...no incident though...not sure if i should b thankful or disappointed...didn't go into shue's house...was late n we didn't want her folks to start having any pre-conceived thoughts...anywayz...sent azam back next...stopped by his house...pretty much the same like cherap's but much more modern...didn't c much of the insides though...jus the living room as his parents served us some late supper of cake n coffee... before cherap n i headed home

that's about it actually...there's so much more that i could write...but it would probably bore u to death...what with my thoughts, opinions, emotions n all...so i guess i'll just stop here...wait for day two...heh

k

holiday plan

dear emilyn...

planning to travel around malaysia...so here's the tentative plan for my hols (at least for the first week...the rest'll b decided shortly after):

kuala lumpur
28 may - leave kl
leavin with cherap

kuala terengganu
29 may - reach kt
29-31 may - kt
1 june - leave kt
goin with cherap...stayin with him...hanging out with him, azam n mushu (shue)...lol...leavin with azam

kota bharu
1 june - reach kb
1-2 june - kb
3 june - leave kb
goin with azam...stayin with naim...chillin with the both of them...leavin alone

alor setar
3 june - reach alor
3-6 june - alor
7 june - leave alor
goin alone...stayin with adlan...leavin alone

m still planning whether to drop by penang or perak along the way home...but prob is i dun have anyone to stay with...or take me out...so tht'll b on the spur of the moment i guess...

planning to conquer mt kinabalu...somewhere in the middle of june...after my btn...so i'll update u s i go along lar...lol...take care n God bless

k

the only constant is change

hey emilyn...

sorry for not replyin your e-mail till now...was caught up ever since i came back from the uk...completing my last minute assignments (consequences of procrastination)...but it's all over now...assignment-wise...thank God!...freedom never tasted so sweet!...now taking some time off...enjoying a bit...relaxing...chilling...

anyway...i had a hunch it was your last day in hk that day...superb place huh?...was considering of staying there n studying there for a few years...lol...

uk was ok...smashing place...old n yet new at the same time...it's really THE place i would love to spend my studying life...after all, i have reasons to believe that i'm a british spirit trapped in a malaysian body...for one, i think malaysia's too hot a country to live in...n secondly, i'm passionate for the arts (eg dance) in such a magnitude considered to b unusual for a malaysian...

moving on...people say that the only constant is change...well guess it's true...when i went back to my old school in horsham (not many people know that i studied for a year in the uk...u didn't think i suddenly appeared at skbd in std 4 out of thin air did u?)...

anyways, wanted to have a look around n hopefully meet up with my teachers n classmates...sadly...they weren't there...teachers had left...friends had moved house...things have changed n the truth is...u can't stop it...n u can't turn back...no matter what happens...time only flows in one direction...

but even if i could turn back time n change things...i wouldn't have changed anything...the experiences n memories i have of my time then r made even more priceless n valuable by the fact that i'll never b able to go through it again...

ok ok...i'm starting to become mushy...so i'd better sign off now till i make an utter fool of myself in front of u...till next time...take care n God bless!

k

ps what did u mean when u said '...all the best for your interview!! i m sure u ll get in. so i ll say congrats now.'??? lol...i'm not THAT perfect!

sent
19 february 2005
3:29 pm

i'll search for u (part II)

i promised to search for u...i did...n i found u...i met u...in my dreams...again...

y didn't u tell me your name?...y did u sacrifice yourself for someone else whom u barely even know?...y did i cry for u?...n y did u leave me when i woke in the morning?...

y r u the person i've always dreamt of n so much more?...y r u so perfect?...y r u so compatible with me?...y r u so friendly with me?...do u know me?...

y did u appear in my dream at the first time?...y did u appear in my dream the second time?....will i meet u here?...in this real world?...since i've dreamt of u twice?...ppl say that when u dream a dream more than once...it's bound to come true...

i can't even remember how u look...please don't leave me...let me search for u again...n let me find u again...there's so much i want to know of u...so much to ask of u...but most of all...let me spend time with u...even if it's in a dream...

sad vs happy

a friend of mine asked me...how come most of my entries express negative emotions?...how come i've never wrote about a positive experience?...is it because i've never had one?...

hmm...good question...worthy of putting my thinking cap on...n getting those rusty gears in my brain rolling...well i've taken a look at my blog...n inspected past entries...n i have to say...that i agree wholeheartedly...n after much thought...i've formulated two explanations...voila:

numero uno...y do we all keep a blog?...well i don't know about u...but i blog to materialize my thoughts...channel my feelings...n express my emotions...now let's say if i'm happy...well i'd express it there n then...wouldn't i?...but let's say i'm sad or angry...could i express it there n then?...i don't think so...

so basically...this has something to do with propriety n decorum...social acceptance...people don't really like to b near u when u're sad or angry...but they'll flock to u when u're high n happy...so if u want to b accepted by people around u...then u'd better watch that temper...but u can't just let it all bottle up inside u...so what r u going to do?...blog, of course...anyway, aren't we suppose to channel our negative emotions positively?

however...i think that this second hypothesis is the right one...now i believe that a person feels more down than up...no, not in terms of quantity...but quality...in other words...negative emotions affect people much greater than positive emotions...sadness vs happiness...anger vs forgiveness...despair vs hope...the former always tend to move us in much greater ways than the latter...now don't go telling me that man wouldn't have landed on the moon if not for love...coz troy was burned not because of love but because of jealousy n lust...(n i can present many more arguments on this...trust me)

don't get me wrong...i'm not saying that we're not affected by positive feelings...it's just that...it takes a greater magnitude of positive feelings to move us at a specified degree compared to negative emotions...n referring back to number one...if u want to b accepted by society...yadda yadda yadda...blah blah blah...etc etc etc...

n that is y most of my entries...if not all...r based on negative experiences...not because i don't go through positive ones...but because i seldom encounter a positive experience great or powerful enough to move me to blog about it...compared to the many tiny insignificant negative encounters...i mean think about it...would someone blog about finding their soulmates...or about their breakups?...obviously their breakups...who's waste time blogging about finding their lover rather than spending precious time with them huh?

so here's hoping...that in the future...near future preferably...i'll encounter a really strong positive experience that'll so move me to blog about it...that i'll break the record length of my blog entries so far...wish me luck!

i'm no doctor material

ever since i started considering medicine as a career...it has always been my dream to work under relief aids...or any humanitarian organizations...such as the united nations or red cross...

i love to travel...n working under these organizations will present me with that opportunity...to serve in war-torn countries...or disaster-strucked countries...

besides that...it also provides me with the constant adrenaline rush that i feed on...since i'll b putting my life on the line...wrestle with danger...n stare death in the eye...24/7 while on duty...

but upon watching the two movies...beyond borders (starring angelina jolie)...n out of the ashes (starring christine lahti)...n i finally realized...that doctors do get killed...especially in war-torn countries...

n that got me thinking...what if i had to choose between the life of my patient n that of my own?...would i sacrifice my own life to save my patient?...n if i were caught between a life-n-death situation...would i forsake the hippocratic oath in order to save my own skin?...

i could easily say now that i'll certainly place the lives n safety of my patients first before mine...but when it comes to the crunch...will i not end up as a mere hypocrite (knowing how much i dislike that)...will i not place a greater importance on my own survival in the end?...

but i can't also b to sure of that...i might change in the future...in medical school...my thoughts n actions...n i might lay down my life to save that of my patients...(no i'm not trying to b heroic)...but the thing is...i can't deny this possibility from happening...

so instead of deciding now...let's just say that i can't c into the future...n it's this aspect of the future that frightens me...(i'm only human anyway)...not knowing whether i'll make a good doctor...n serve humanity...

all i can do now...is hope n pray...that i'll never have to encounter such a decision that i must make...as christine would put it...a "choiceless choice"...but if God wills it to b...that i do encounter such a choice...then i pray that when that time comes...i'll b able to make the right decision...do the right thing...not only as a doctor...but also as one of mankind...n as a child of God

discrimination makes us human?!

looking back on some of my recent posts...i've come to realize that they were nothing but empty vessels making a lot of noise...superficial n insignificant...so for a change...here's some food for thought:

i'm a hypocrite...n that's saying something...since i don't like hypocrites...i don't like to b one...n i don't like to b called one...in my entry entitled 'same in being different'...i enthusiastically condemned any act of discrimination...

however...i came to realize that...discrimination defines our civilization...discrimination makes us human...shocking huh?...y do i say so?...or what brought me to make that conclusion?...

well...i was just thinking...what's the difference between a vegetarian n me?...our preference of food of course...hence i advocated...don't discriminate!...but then i thought...what's the difference between a cannibal n me?...surely food preference too...i mean hey!...just substitute chicken drumstick with human thigh right?...no discrimination there...

what?!...m i mad?!...human thigh?!...ugh!...no matter how i look at it...i can't help thinking that when i do encouter a cannibal on the streets...i'll quickly cross the road to the opposite side...n that's y i call myself a hypocrite...loathe though i may b to do so...

but which human in their right mind would allow cannibals to roam the streets of our towns n cities?...while children play in their front gardens...while couples take a stroll in the park...while the elderly enjoy their evening walk around the neighbourhood...

so doesn't discrimination is this case define us as a civilized human?...doesn't it put a line n say this is allowed n that isn't...but then again...wasn't homosexuality a big no-no back in those days...n if it is slowly gaining acceptance in today's modern society...could it happen to cannibalism?...

so how?...can anyone help me solve this enigma?...

i'll search for u...

this entry serves as a memorial...in honour of the courageous, selfless and dashing guy i met...in the best nightmare of my life so far...

they say tht when u dream a dream twice...it comes true...well...this nightmare in particular has been recurring very frequently...even if it doens't come true...i hope i'll dream it again...maybe then...i might b able to change the course of things... :

after having passed our navigation tests...my team mates n i were ordered to destroy n enemy's base...n ancient ruinous structure the size of the Great Pyramid of Giza...n the shape of n Aztec sacrificial temple...

we landed upon the roof...in the cover of darkness...n infiltrated the structure from the roof...to the topmost level...

after having disarmed the heavy artillery embedded in the walls...n taken on the stone guardians hidden in deep recesses of the walls...did i realize tht i had lost my team mates...where had they gone?...what had become of them?...yet...i had to stay true to my mission...my sense of loyalty would not allow me to even mourn for them...let alone seek n avenge them...

remembering my mission...i dislodged the wooden beams tht astonishingly supported the massive stone roof with my own bare hands...upon displacing the last beam...the roof rumbled n began to slowly collapse in on itself...onyl then did i finally realize my own peril n folly...

i searched for a way down to the lower levels below along the ledges of the surrounding walls...before i found it...n opening on to the ledge below it...

tht was when i met u...both of us in the same predicament...but u were s cool s can b...u told me to follow u...n we jumped onto the ledge below...

s we ran along the ledge...u told me tht there was no other way to the ledges below...the only way down was a sort of mechanical contraption...suspended in the center of the structure...u said tht it would lead us to the bottom...n i said...lead on...

we activated the machinery together at each level...bringing us a level down at a time...i thought tht we would reach the bottom in time...safe...but i was wrong...

after only dropping three levels...we fell into a steel cage...we could c the rough sea directly below us...a long way down...this was it...the final test...

we activated the contraption in unison...silently...not uttering a single sound or word to each other...we did it...n a trapdoor in the middle of the cage floor...dropped open into the black void ...to a sheer drop into the sea below...

u did the math...but kept silent...i looked into your eyes...n saw only death...u told me tht the drop might kill us...u weren't sure...but there was a possibility...the height was too great...

we hesitated...but when the structure graoned heavily...i decided to do something...i told u to hold on to my feet while i held on to the metal bars of the trapdoor...dangling above the surface of the sea...in order to reduce the distance of the fall by at least a body length for him...

the height made my head spin...i felt my strength drain away from my hands...before finally letting go of the metal bars...as we fell...i had a premonition...the horror...a scream...before...

i woke up to a gloomy n dark morning...

i do not know your name...or whence u came from...or how u ended up there...or y...but i'll definitely search for u again...in my nightmares...in the hopes tht we might meet again...n i'll finally change the way things turned out...to how it's supposed to b...

same in being different

warning!* if u feel offended by the issue of discrimination...pls do not read any further...due to my lack of vocabulary...i could not find any politically correct words to describe the differences in humans...for my cause...i would like to state that i condemn any form of discrimination...n i mean any form...i believe that the differences in humans should never be distinguished by words such as blacks, homosexuals or vegetarians...but in order to convey my message effectively...i had no other choice...therefore...begging your pardon...n asking for your forgiveness...voila:

i've just downloaded and watched madonna's 'american pie' music video...(yeah yeah...i noe...i'm a big fan of madonna)...the music video basically features madonna with her usual antics in front of a large american flag backdrop...and short clips of american citizens in front of american flags flashing in n out at intervals...

but what got me thinking...was the fact that...there's really not much difference between americans n malaysians...just like us...they too have a diverse race of people...instead of malays, chinese, indians and kadazans...they have blacks n whites...blue and white collar labourers...hippies and punks...beauty queens n nerds...armed personnel n immigrants...as well as...jocks n cheeleaders...

i'm not saying that these types of people r not found among malaysians...it's just that...we malaysians pride ourselves on the fact that we're the only multi-racial country...consisting of three major races...the malays, chinese and indians...as well as the natives...that's peaceful n united...we brag that our country achieved independence without blood shed through the unity of the three main races...each sacrificing some of their rights n compromising others for the sake of their country's independence...

but what we fail to realize is the fact that...other countries too...experience a multitude of human differences...skin colour...religion...sexual preference...food preference etc etc...each group being discriminated against by another...each group trying to protect and claim their rights for equality...

so basically...there's nothing different between all of us...there's no need to differentiate between homosexuals n heterosexuals...just like there's no need to distinguish between pale skinned people and dark skined people...and even orange skinned people for that matter...

we're all united in our differences!